Things get better, and things get worse.

I am fully confident that now that my mission is getting so close, my life is being divided in two ways. The first is that Spiritually and Emotionally and basically every other way I can feel myself getting stronger. I start to take note of the reasons I'm going and realize that I really believe in them. And it seems like everyday I come up with more and more reasons. Last night was a great night in that I was coming home from Logan with friends and when I got home, I got out of my car and just looked up at the sky. It was a clear winter night and it was an awe-inspiring sight. I continued to look up for about ten minutes, all the while contemplating the vastness of God's power and creation. During that time I had the wonderful feeling that even though God's creations are vast and great, he was still right beside me, all the way. I felt that even though I was leaving all my family and friends, my BEST friends, my Heavenly Father and Brother Jesus Christ would ALWAYS be by my side. They were the only people I would be allowed to take with me, and I felt an incredible feeling of closeness to both of them at that moment. I realized that I'd always been getting close to them my whole life, but never really noticed how close we were until now. Maybe it's because I truly was closer then than I ever have been.

At the same time, however, I can feel the opposing side trying to pull at me. I know that he (Satan) realizes I'm so close to beginning a journey where I will lessen his power, and strengthen God's Kingdom, and I know he does NOT want that to happen. So he tries to pick at my weaknesses and flaws and get me to come down from the point I've been raised to, he wants me to fail at the last moment, to strike out in the bottom of the 9th, and get me to fail my task, or least send me on the task weakened (as none of my weaknesses would stop me from going on a mission). Fortunately, I feel closer to God than ever before, and I know he's got my back, so I keep on going and I don't look back.

I was once told this would happen by a good friend of mine who is now on a mission. At first I thought maybe that was just HIS struggle, at the last moment before his mission. But now I realize that he was right, that the adversary IS trying to thwart me now, because he knows its going to be a lot harder once I'm officially a missionary. So now I'm going to take the advice that missionary gave, I'm going to flick him right off my shoulder and keep on pressing on.